Developing & Changing Your Mindset
In my journey through books, looking at myself, and getting to where I am now, I did it backwards. I was trying to find the quick and easy fix to life and why I am “stuck”. If you look at anything, starting a business, the first step is defining your market and your mission, starting a workout routine, define your goals, etc. If I would’ve taken a step back, I would have found my answer a lot earlier, but the answer I ultimately found was to define yourself and what you want in this life. Look at the old, present, and future YOU.
Understanding Your Wants & Needs
Last week we talked about and asked you to look at yourself and investigate what makes you tick. Figuring out what makes you tick is essential to get you going and moving in the right direction, with purpose and passion. If you are not using this to your advantage, then most likely you will not push through when it gets hard.
If I would’ve done this a while ago, I don’t think I would’ve been able to truly answer this because I didn’t truly knew myself. I couldn’t even sit alone with my thoughts for more than 2-minutes. I was always on the go, traveling, camping, hunting, working, etc. Never even a spare moment to sit down, let alone reflect on me, who I truly am, and why. I have always had dreams of what I want in life and have a general idea of how to get there, but no solid plan, just a general direction.
Why Being Positive & Understanding Yourself is Important
What I have recently learned is; what is a life worth living, if you don’t truly utilize yourself to accomplish what you were put on this earth to accomplish.
I knew this (but the recent readings/research have reinforced it) it comes down to a mindset and purpose/desire. If you wake up every day and say, “I cannot do this today”, you will literally not be able to do the tasks that day. What you tell yourself becomes true. Negative thoughts have major power over you. The negatives take root inside you, easier than positive thoughts.
If you sit here and blame the world and everyone else for your problems, you will get nowhere and get nowhere extremely quickly. It seems like all the blame for no movement is placed on external factors, that you have no control over and never placed any blame on internal factors. If you never look internally and always only look externally, you will not get anywhere because you will never truly understand WHY.
What You Do for Yourself
You have complete and utter control over your life, your thoughts, and the decisions you make. You have the ability (no matter how much you don’t think you do) to change your path, your life, and achieve your true passions.
In life it is so easy to let go, fall into bad habits, and blame others. It is difficult to take responsibility, shoot for developing great habits, and achieve greatness. If you have read this and it speaks to you, then following this blog and going down this journey, is for you. If you read this and started blaming me for things, then you need to do some more self-reflection, take a deeper look at yourself, and then come back and re-read this once you have changed your mindset and understand yourself.
You are obviously here for a reason and looking for some advice. I will tell you I am no expert, I do not have a doctorate in anything, I am just a normal person. I have done a lot of self-discovery recently, read a lot of books, and taken steps to make my life better. In a book I read recently It said, “could you imagine what the world would look like if everyone was achieving their maximum and most true self”. When I read that, I realized I truly am not the only person who is lost and right now we live in a very sad world. Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t. If we can change the mindset of people, open them up, and help them find “their self”, utilize their abilities for good instead of bad, maybe we can live in a happier world? Or Maybe I am the crazy one?
THE FOCUS OF THIS WEEK
Look at your current mindset. How do you react to issues and problems. How do you react to changes in a plan or cancelations. When an issue arises, do you run away or try to solve it. Think through a scenario i.e. you run a red light and get into a wreck. Is your first answer to blame the fact you got zero sleep last night or is it to take responsibility for what happened? A scenario happens this week, where you get in argument, or something doesn’t go as planned. Look and write down what happened, why, how you handled it. Then the next day review it and think through what truly happened and why.
This will tell you more about yourself than you realize and is a great reflection task to understand you!
JOURNAL ENTRIES/TASKS
For the exercises I want you to Journal daily on the following.
- When faced with a specific challenge/situation in your life how did you handle it? How did you overcome/handle this challenge/situation? Think through the actual challenge/situation, the before and after, and the outcome.
- Once you’ve thought through how the situation went, I want you to look at the impacts of this challenge/situation, do you regret what happened or how you handled it? What was your mindset and attitude like during this?
- How would have you liked to handle the situation, if it was handled poorly or you have regrets? What could you do now to get the outcome you wanted/how could you fix this situation?
MY EXPERIENCE/REFLECTION
My first real job right out college was a good starter job, but nothing more than that and did help me get where I am at now. During a review 3 years into this job, I had answered one of the questions with “I want to grow and would like to take on more responsibility, with whatever you need help with and will help me learn and grow.” My managers response to this was “you need to settle down and relax, you will get more responsibility with time”. I was the lead technician and had people I was helping manage, so my next steps were to take on a different role. When I received this response, it was a slap in the face. I was extremely frustrated and blind sided by this response. I didn’t say anything, just took the response in and boiled.
What I did to handle the situation is immediately start reaching out and looking for another job, a few months after this I was putting in my 2-week notice and went on to a much greater job with way more opportunities for advancement. When I left he said “you’re going from the top here, to the bottom over there”. My response was “the bottom there, is way above the top here.” During this initially my mindset was growth and loyalty. After my mindset was purely focused on me and just getting a new job.
It actually worked out to get me an amazing job, where I’ve grown and made more in 5-years than I ever would have at this company. It has opened my eyes and made me way more successful and challenged me like crazy, which I love.
In looking back, the outcome and everything was fantastic it changed my life. The only thing I wish that was different, I wish I would’ve stood up for myself in the moment. If I could go back I would’ve had the “tough-conversation” right then and there so I could understand why he thought I wasn’t ready. Was it me or was it him? When I look back at him as a boss, he was an extreme micromanager with a narcissist personality and I would’ve never outgrown him.